Tensions we don’t even know we have…

Sometimes all we can do, it seems, is carry them. That worry, that constant rumble of thunder in the back of our minds. Does it seem like our best salesperson is disengaging? Will the tests ever find out why our mother has been so low on energy? How can I triage this never-ending flow of issues to be dealt with? Really, can I just go take a very very long nap somewhere?

When news came today that my grandson’s strange symptoms are not Parkinson’s but a rare condition called dysautonomia I cried with relief. In the hall during a break from a meeting. I didn’t even know I was so worried. I had been holding it at arm’s length during the past 8 months of specialists and medical experiments and testing. And practicing positive thinking and bargaining with God and every other possible solution I could think of. But no tears. Not until the pressure came off. There’s a road to walk here that is neither easy nor appealing but so much better than many of the others we had looked down.

This has been a year full of business and personal reliefs that have brought me to sudden tears and shouts of joy. Tension is flowing out of my body, my mind is coming up with clearer answers to problems, I have fresh energy for cutting through the clutter.

It is a shock to realize how much energy has been snarled up in complicated deals, facilities issues, and family changes.

I don’t know about you, but my answer to just about every challenge is to work harder and keep going. Even though I’ve been practicing meditation since I was 11, and know the value of a good workout, those tools often get pushed aside as the workload grows. So do conversations and hang-out time with my long-time friends. Ok, let me just say this – THAT’s crazy!!!

Over the last 20 years, I’ve seen many of my clients fall into the same trap. Of course, I’ve counseled and cajoled and harangued them to breathe, to pause, to get some exercise, to go play. I thought I was doing better than I was for my own self. This year has shown me how much I need to deepen and sharpen the use of my own tools on myself. A little humiliating…

So what are you carrying around with you that is diminishing your performance and your joy?

I just want to say, with all the heart and nagging and cheerleading power and science I can muster:




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Posted in: Culture, Leadership

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